This one probably shouldn’t have a title

My bedroom has one wall that is entirely mirrors. This leads me to frequent reflections (har!) on the effects certain activities of recent years have had on my body, which in turn leads me to question the Husbandlet as to whether it would be gratuitously vain to get a b*oob job.

Fortunately for me, the Husbandlet knows better than to answer this question.

Also fortunately for me, the Husbandlet grew up in Africa, where utility is the name of the game, in re: the b*oobies.

Me: “I mean, don’t you think these things are horribly saggy?”
The Husbandlet: “I don’t call that saggy. You’re not saggy until you can use one side to breastfeed the child on your back …”
Me: “While simultaneously using the other one to comfort …”
The Husbandlet: “The child walking by your side, yes.”

1 comment May 14, 2011

Quite a mouthful

Ngaire got a rubber worm out of the prize bucket at school a few weeks back. I can’t find a lookalike on the Internet, but it looked kind of like a supersized gummy worm. It was fun and squiggly; the kids liked to play with it in the bath.

Last night, Ngaire asked to take her worm to bed with her. I tucked the two of them in.

An hour or so later, I heard a gagging sound and went in to check on her. Ngaire had swallowed her worm.

I repeat: SWALLOWED (as in, NOT CHEWED) her worm.

She was rather traumatized by this, not so much by the experience (though she did complain that she could still feel it in her throat) but by the fact that her worm was now gone. She kept saying, “I should never have taken it to bed with me!”

To which I could only reply, “No, you shouldn’t have put it in your mouth and SWALLOWED IT.”

Today, she complained of a tummyache, but otherwise she seems to have come through the devastation in one piece. One wonders whether the same will be said of the worm.

Tonight, she took a giant Dalmatian stuffed animal to bed. As we were tucking her in, I told her, “Now, Ngaire, whatever you do, do NOT swallow that Dalmatian.”

1 comment May 6, 2011

Bits and pieces

It should be noted that when the Husbandlet is tired (or, apparently, drugged), he becomes excessively pedantic and apt to miss the joke.

Today, the Husbandlet had a procedure done on a rather sensitive bit of his anatomy. On our way out of the medical practice, we ran into a doctor friend who works there. The Husbandlet explained the circumstances of our visit, and his friend said, “Oh, so I probably shouldn’t invite you to play racquetball with me tonight.”

The Husbandlet (totally serious): “Yeah, I have a bit of tennis elbow right now.”

Add comment May 4, 2011

A little ditty

Ngaire has spent about the last 20 minutes in her room singing over and over, “Tell me WHY; I don’t understand.”

I can’t figure out whether she’s going to be a songwriter or a philosopher.

Add comment May 3, 2011